I keep shouting; they’re not listening! Pt. 1

We live in a world full of words. Well at least I live in a world full of words. Those words are typically summarized as Accomplish. Do. Fulfill. Always. Move. Succeed. Improve. Work. These words fill our heads, my own head, everyday. I’m certain that this emphasis on our worth in life being a result of accomplishment is so socially engrained that it feels near impossible to escape. I’ve told myself these words for years and have self-inflicted shame every time I couldn’t live up to the unrealistic, short-sighted standard.

Losing Our Children to YouTube

Losing our children to Youtube

On average American kids 8-18 years old are spending 53 hours a week on digital media, with the majority of that time being spent on Youtube. By contrast, only about 6% of kids are spending time outdoors on their own accord. Things like fishing, swimming, catching lightning bug, putting frogs in jars, pick-up games of baseball or basketball, and star gazing are practically left to the distant memories of the previous two or three generations. Exploration of the natural world and creating stories together with childhood friends has changed to vicariously exploring the wild west of Youtube and posting the stories of others to share with anyone that follows their social media page. On top of this, parents are finding that their kids have lost track of normal time-oriented rhythms. Kids are mixing up their nights and days due to technology and they are finding it hard to function properly outside of the world of technology. No wonder an entire generation of parents feel like they are losing their children to Youtube.

How To Help Children Who Have ADHD

HOW TO HELP CHILDREN WHO HAVE ADHD

Your child often loses homework assignments, he is unable to stay focused on a given task, he has a lack of impulse control, and is disorganized—these are just a few of the behaviors that a parent might see manifest in a child who has Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). This parent may often feel frustrated, overwhelmed and unsure of how to help the child who is struggling. The child may also feel that he never measures up to his parents’ standards, and he is constantly trying to do better. He may feel angry at himself that it takes him twice as long to do a task that would take his younger brother only a few minutes. It is a common misconception that a person with ADHD lacks intelligence. There have been many studies that have proved the opposite, that children with ADHD are often highly intelligent. According to an article in Psychology Today, a person with ADHD does not lack intelligence; however, he may lack the ability to best utilize his intelligence. The child with ADHD may not know that she also struggles with executive functioning, which makes it hard for her to plan ahead and to stay organized. Here are some tips to help a child who struggles with ADHD.

Helping A Spouse Who Has ADHD

HOW TO HELP A SPOUSE WHO HAS ADHD

It can be incredibly overwhelming and anxiety provoking to have a spouse who struggles with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). The wife of a husband who has ADHD might currently be confused and helpless about what she can do to help him. She may feel like her current efforts to assist him are only leading her to feel more frustrated and creating more problems in her marriage.

Dismantling Failure

We all need some failure in our lives in order to grow, but failure quickly becomes a problem when it goes from a learning tool to a tyrannical autocrat. For many, failure has a tendency to quickly scribe an identity without giving a second glance. This persistent type of failure removes dignity and replaces it with shame. Fortunately the helping relationship has the power to speak into this kind of failure and renovate the damage that failure has brought to the soul.
The helping relationship hears, sees, and recognizes the pains behind failure that few others have ever been privy to. It hears the shame surrounding the gossip from peers back in grade school; it sees the self loathing that past financial mistakes have implanted; it recognizes the much needed, tightly withheld forgiveness from a selfish and manipulative parent. The helping relationship perceives the things that other relationships have completely missed. Truly this relationship keenly perceives the poison that failure imparts on its victims.

Stepping Into Failure

Stepping into Failure

Helping someone who is struggling with a nagging sense of failure can be difficult. Failure wants to quickly scribe an identity on to a person without giving them more than a second glance. And in order to truly help someone, it takes more than a simple thirty second conversation.

Remember this first before jumping in to serve: People’s reactions to failures reveal much about them. Most people don’t breakdown and cry unless they are facing something that is too big for them to handle. Observe everything you can before approaching their struggles. Verbally recognize their pain and in humility ask if they’d be willing to share it with you. Always think of this as a blessing, that someone is willing to trust you enough to share their burdens with you.

Speaking & Teaching

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Courage in the Midst of Grief and Sadness

Courage in the Face of Grief and Sadness

Courage is the ability to do something frightening; having strength to face pain or grief. Ambrose Redmoon says “courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear.” Courage, therefore, only takes place when fear is actually present. Being brave is going face to face with fear, feeling scared to do something, but choosing to do it anyway.

How Depression is Different for a Christian.

How Depression is Different for a CHristain

Depression tends to have a say in our lives. While everyone feels reasonably sad from time to time, depression’s influence is unreasonable and often merciless. Depression wants to convince us of a different narrative, a narrative that contains distortions of truth about ourselves and the world around us. Its grasp refuses to let us go.

Some days it has more in common with a domestic abuser, a drunken and abusive spouse, than it does with feelings of mere sadness. Even when its presence is distant, its narrative has more control over us than we’d like to admit. Pretending it isn’t there, drowning its influence through our addictions of choice, or simply giving in to its power sometimes feels like our only response. Fortunately, for the Christian, there is more to the story.

Marriage Is Not A Competition

By Jennifer Stuckert, MA MFT, LPC & Jonathan Stuckert MA, M Phil (candidate)

There are many places in life where competition is welcome, celebrated, encouraged and even helpful. But, marriage is not one of them. When competition becomes one of your key outlooks on marriage you will unknowingly trade it for safety and security. This may not seem like a big deal at first. But, an enduring Godly marriage requires these qualities. Across time a healthy couple bestows these things to one another but, that is not possible if there is a spirit of competition.

When one partner sets themselves against the other, even in jest, the end result is typically scrutiny, uncertainty, and criticism. These are not very positive words. Sometimes this starts from a good place when a couple wants to be playful and tease one another. Then by all means be playful, but encourage one another’s strengths. However, be careful not to one up the other person.