Getting Stuck in a Rut
We are people of habit, to say the least. We wake up around the same time, go to work around the same time, go to the usual restaurants, go to the usual grocery stores, etc. And while there is something to be said about being efficient, these kinds of routines can also take a quiet toll on us. Somehow the dinners we eat become less flavorful. The people we talk to become more boring. The world outside looks a little more grey. Some say the solution to this is to go out and try something new. While that is rarely a bad thing, sometimes there is more to it than taking on a new project. More often than not, the problem is much deeper than it appears.
Being stuck in a rut can be an indicator of some potentially deeper concerns and rarely shows up alone. People who feel bored with their lives are often suffering in other areas too. Areas like performance on the job, academic pursuits, or day-to-day tasks suffer during this personal period of ennui. Truth be told, it’s likely that this experience has been going on quietly for years in the background – slowly but surely nibbling away at the pieces of your soul. This is the first indicator that the disenchantment you are feeling may actually be depression that has slowly crept in.
Signs of Depression
There are a few other signs that you may actually be depressed rather than simply being stuck in a rut. One of the biggest indicators is an inability to put a time frame on when this feeling began. A rut can be easily identified time frame-wise and tends to be last about a week or so. Depression is a malaise that has a difficult to define starting point (and a difficult to define ending point). A rut can be remedied with the help of friends and good times, while depression tends to keep us away from friends and good times. A rut will often end up disappearing on its own, while depression will end up finding new ways to show up in your life.
Unlike being stuck in a rut, depression isn’t about being bored with everything around you, rather depression is being bored with yourself. Depression finds you, your interests, and the interests of those you care about featureless and tedious. This can be seen outwardly and/or inwardly. Depression can begin to show up as bitterness towards those you love as well as a general distaste for your life/life’s choices. It finds everything to be draining, sucking the color from the room and replacing it with the weight of “why bother?”
What Should You Do If You Think You Have Depression?
So what do you do if you think that you may be battling depression? There are options out there. It is best to consider all of your options before jumping to any conclusions. First and foremost, begin by taking a personal inventory. How many depressive symptoms do you actually feel over the span of a few weeks? On your good days are you still experiencing these symptoms to some degree? That is a strong sign that there is depression present, and that it is more than being stuck in a rut.
After taking inventory of what you are facing, consider talking to a few friends and relatives about your experience and see if they feel the same way you do about what you are facing. Sometimes our friends have the most sage advice and perspective that we can’t have for ourselves. When talking to a relative pay extra attention to asking if depression runs in the family. Often, depression tends to have a stronger biological link, so if someone else in the family has experienced depression, this increases the odds that what you are facing is depression.
Finally, take some action steps. Go meet with a therapist and see what comes out of you. We’re often more intune with our deep, personal concerns once we feel we are in a safe place to talk about them. You’ll be surprised about what organically comes out when paired with a therapist who is supportive and connected with you. From there, steps can be considered for medication or other holistic treatment concerns, if necessary.
Final Thoughts
Sometimes a rut is simply a rut. But recurrent ruts should lead us to ask tough questions about depression. Remember, there is no shame when questioning your own frame of mind. Help is always closer than you think.
Written by: Jared Pogue, LPC