Prioritizing Yourself This Fall
As we gear back up for the beginning of the school year, it is naturally a good time to revisit our priorities and rhythms of life. As sad as I am to see the summer months come to an end, there is something exciting about the structure that the school year brings back for my kids and me. It’s a great time to evaluate what is and is not working in my daily rhythms. Personally, I view August as a second chance for New Year’s resolutions or goal setting, a reset after the summer months when I may have lost consistency in certain areas.
As a busy mom, wife, therapist, coach, and coordinator of all the chaos, I find that I often put myself last. While balancing multiple roles, it can become second nature to prioritize and attend to the needs of others before our own. However, I have learned that this vicious cycle of minimizing my own needs and prioritizing others first can lead to burnout. If you find yourself in a similar situation or facing burnout, I’d like to provide you with a few strategies.
Check-in With Yourself
Often, we fail to acknowledge that we have a relationship with ourselves, and it’s important to learn to evaluate that relationship. Ask yourself these questions:
- What are my needs?
- Where am I feeling depleted, exhausted, or impatient?
- What am I currently doing (for others) that I can say no to?
- What is my body telling me?
- Where can I ask and accept help?
- What am I noticing about my mood or behavior towards others or myself?
- Where do I need to slow down?
- Where do I need to rest?
- How can I give myself a reset?
- What habits or activities help me refuel?
- Am I struggling with all/nothing thinking patterns?
Extend Grace and Kindness to Yourself
Our relationship with ourselves starts with the way that we view ourselves. I often hear clients state that they would never talk to their friends the way they talk to themselves. I’m curious why we tend to be so critical of ourselves. Name all-or-nothing thinking when it presents itself, and move towards giving yourself credit for the progress that was made.
I love the analogy of motivating a donkey to move, whether using a carrot or a stick. The carrot serves as a reward in front of the donkey to motivate it towards something. Whereas the stick serves as a punishment, hitting the donkey from behind to motivate it to move. If you are a driven individual who thrives on performance, you can do so by also being kind to yourself. What reward can you give to yourself as you are motivated towards your goals? How can you show yourself kindness as you seek excellence? Let’s strive to speak to ourselves the way we would to others. Where can you show yourself more grace and kindness today?
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. – Proverbs 15:1
Give Yourself Permission
No one is going to advocate for you. What do you need permission for?
- To feel your feelings
- To be yourself
- To ask for help
- To stop trying to be perfect
- To take a break
- To say no
- To give yourself grace
- To get off social media
- To cry
- To turn off your phone
- To go outside and play
- To get creative
- To move on
- To make mistakes
- To take care of yourself
- To start over
- To set boundaries
- To do things differently
- To have hope
Just as with New Year’s resolutions, the key is to work towards small steps. Pick one of these strategies that you’d like to start implementing to prioritize yourself more. Aim for consistency in that one area before adding more strategies. Continue to give yourself grace for the days you fall short and remember the goal is progress, not perfection.
Written by Heidi Sawyer, MS, LPC
Roswell Location
heidi@restorationcounselingatl.com, 678.534.3824, ext 116
Heidi works with adolescents and adults with life planning issues, anxiety, depression, relationship challenges, spiritual issues, grief, life transitions, goal setting, and self-confidence. She focuses on helping her clients gain insight to their thought patterns, behaviors, and feelings using the lens of Cognitive Behavioral Theory combined with psychoeducation. Heidi also provides premarital counseling using the Prepare/Enrich program.