It’s the beginning of the school year for many people or families. This time of year can trigger all sorts of emotions about change and the unknown. It signals the reality of the familiar life transitions we are all aware of and have experienced at one time or another. Whether you are a student, embarking on a new school year, or you’re a young professional in a new city, these transitions impact each of us in different ways. Sometimes a transition happens gradually, and you have time to prepare. Other times, they are sprung on you and you need a moment to adjust.
Though I am definitely one who loves the start of something new, I’d be lying if I did not also acknowledge the fear and sadness that accompany life transitions. Many different changes create this off-balance feeling, even the changes and transitions we welcome.
Possible changes/transitions that people experience in life:
- Losing a job
- Starting at a new school
- Moving
- Divorce
- Loss or death
- Getting married
- Having a baby
- Empty nest syndrome
- Getting diagnosed with a disease or illness
- Ending a relationship
- Job change
- Financial changes
- Retirement
When a Life Transition is on the Horizon
Sometimes you know beforehand that you will be moving on from one thing to the next, and you get time to prepare for the transition. During this preparation phase, typically, there are many details you are sorting through and planning for. In the midst of the to-do list, it can be helpful to create margin time to reflect, connect with who you are, and assess where you are headed. Life transitions by nature are destabilizing and disorienting, and depending on the change can leave you feeling like a disconnected stranger in a foreign land. Giving this space can help ground you before and during the transition. This can look many different ways for each of us, but through this time of evaluation, you are grounding yourself for the following months.
Preparing-For-a-Life-Transition Activity Ideas
- Use reflection-question prompts about leaving one stage/environment/place and moving into something new.
- Prepare mantras–whether promises from God or motivations about the importance of trying new things, etc.
- Identify people and environments that are peaceful and easy to be around so that you can lean on them during the transition.
- Plan checkpoints or check-in times with people during the first few weeks/months of the transition.
- Take time for journaling and connecting with your personality characteristics and life experiences–so that you can reflect on this when you feel disconnected in a new place. If you need help with this, click here for a helpful tool created by my colleague Hannah.
When You Find Yourself in a Life Transition
When walking through life changes, many different areas are impacted, like sleep, diet, social engagement, and your ability to focus. The signs vary from person to person but overall leave you feeling confused and disoriented, among other emotions. It can be hard to make sense of the increase in emotional toil with the recent changes in your life. When you notice yourself crying more, feeling easily irritable, having lower energy, or being unable to keep up the same pace as you used to, it might be a sign that you are impacted more by the recent changes in your life than you originally thought.
In-the-Middle-of-a-Life-Transition Activity Ideas:
- Identify all that has changed in your life. Journal and consider how these changes are impacting you.
- Actively pursue showing yourself compassion. Think of how you would show compassion to a friend walking through a change and give that same response to yourself.
- Reflect on what led to the transition, and evaluate what it has been like for you.
- Depending on your life transition, consider joining support groups to connect with people going through the same transition.
The timeline of how long the impact of this change will last is different for everyone. If the symptoms you’re noticing are directing the decisions in your life more than you are, it might be helpful to get extra support. This could look like planning less, giving yourself more time to complete tasks, or talking to someone about the changes and unknowns that have increased in life. I love joining people in their process of sorting through changes. If you would like to discuss more about this, click here to email me about a consultation.
Just for Fun:
I love music and typically listen to songs to grieve a life change. Here are a couple of songs I’d recommend:
- ”Good Riddance” by Green Day
- ”For Good” from Wicked by Kristen Chenoweth and Idina Menzel
- ”Castle on a Hill” by Ed Sheeran
Written by Samantha Mathews, MA, AMFT, APC, NCC, CMHC
Woodstock location
samantha@restorationcounselingatl.com
Samantha works with individuals of all ages. She wants to help create space and language for what you may be going through in life. Samantha sees individuals dealing with ADHD, anxiety, depression, gender issues, grief, postpartum depression, and trauma. She also does premarital and marital counseling.