A lot of my clients tell me they notice they are zoning out, feeling numb, checking out of conversations, dissociating, and wanting to distract themselves. All of these phrases are basically synonyms for not being present throughout the day.
Take a moment to consider if you’ve said any of these phrases or something similar…
This might be surprising, but the first thing I say to my clients when they use these phrases is, “Good job!” As uncomfortable as it feels to notice that you aren’t present in your day, you’re on the right track to changing that. You’re noticing it. That’s the first step. Now we can do something about it.
We are constantly pulled in different directions. Our world, our country, our state, our families, our friends, our work environments–they all have stressors. Add social media into the mix, and the combo is enough to make anyone want to check out! We are not made to consume as much information as we do. Our bodies are telling us they are overwhelmed and can’t take anymore.
There are legitimate reasons our brains need to zone out and take a break. For some of us (talking to myself here), there is nothing better than an episode of New Girl after the end of a long day. Nothing wrong with that! The problem comes when I’m no longer choosing to relax with an episode of New Girl and instead, I’m on auto-pilot, coasting through my week with all the days and all the New Girl episodes running together.
Below are some tips to help turn auto-pilot off and be present throughout the day:
Tips
- Give yourself breaks. Some examples of this include: giving yourself 5-10 minutes of quiet before waking up the kids, scrolling social media, or turning on music; sitting in your car and taking a few deep breaths as the air conditioning kicks in, and then driving to the next destination; eating lunch away from the computer. What might be a short but necessary break in your daily routine?
- If you enjoy journaling, I invite you to try the Daily Examen. An ancient Jesuit tradition created by St. Ignatius of Loyola, this method of prayerfully reflecting on the day can help you sense God’s hand in your life. This is also a tool you and your partner could do before bed to reflect on your days and have an intentional time of connection.
- Are you getting enough sleep? We all know what it’s like to feel like a zombie when we didn’t sleep well the night before. Consider creating a nighttime routine to wind down and get to bed at a similar time each day.
- Engage your senses. Notice the fabric of the chair you’re sitting in or the details of a painting on a wall. Crank up the air conditioning in your car to help you feel invigorated. This video will walk you through a sensory exercise that is a good place to start!
- Start small instead of trying to fix everything at once. Do you notice this happening in the car? Great! Working on being present as you drive will benefit you at other times as well.
If you are struggling with staying present, I would love to talk with you! You can email me at hannah@restorationcounselingatl.com to schedule an appointment or a free 15-minute consultation phone.
Written by Hannah Clark, APC
hannah@restorationcounselingatl.com, ext. 122
Roswell and Woodstock locations
Hannah offers therapeutic help to people from all walks of life. Her philosophy is that counseling is for everyone. Just like we go to the doctor for check-ups and take our cars to get the oil changed, mental health works the same way. Hannah has experience counseling individuals with issues such as trauma, PTSD, grief, depression, anxiety, career/life transitions, and shame. Hannah also works with married couples on their relationship and communication.