Fighting Porn Addiction, Part 2

Follow the link to read Part 1 of this series on the addictive power of pornography and porn addiction.

Internet Pornography: A Monstrous Tyranny

In 2023, the global porn industry was valued at $287.8 billion, and it is estimated to reach $706.2 billion by the end of 2034 [2]. How? In large part, slavery–on both sides of the screen. Slaves’ bodies on camera, making videos. Slaves’ eyes glued to the screen, making advertising dollars. How many dollars would the porn industry make if every dollar were earned by serving others and making the world a better place? $0. The porn industry has never served us. It has enslaved us.

A 2022 study found that almost 60% of men aged 30-49 reported watching porn in the last month. Only 12% of men in that age cohort reported never using. Similarly, 44% of men aged 18-29 reported watching porn in the last month. Although women are four times less likely to report pornography use, that still leaves us with a large population of female users [3, 4]. Sadly, a majority of children have seen porn by age 13, and 73% of teens have been exposed [5]. Perhaps most disturbingly, Covenant Eyes, an internet accountability software company, reports that “1 in 5 youth pastors and 1 in 7 senior pastors use porn on a regular basis and [are] currently struggling.” They also state that “64% of Christian men and 15% of Christian women say they watch porn at least once a month” and that “only 7% of pastors report their church has a ministry program for those struggling with porn” [6].

Like the enemy Churchill faced, the internet porn industry has a place in “the dark, lamentable catalogue of human crime.” It drops bombs into marriages, destroying intimacy and leaving wounded spouses and children in the wreckage. Pornography lays siege to our spiritual lives, preventing growth while our souls waste away. It infects our minds with every possible distorted message about sex, relationships, and personal fulfillment. The onslaught of internet porn in the digital age is a clear and present danger to the spiritual, mental, and emotional health of the masses. But perhaps worst of all, internet pornography is an evil force waging war silently, without any public declaration. It does not storm the borders of a nation. No, it quietly enters our homes, even the bedrooms of our children. It’s a secret affair, but if it left a visible imprint, we’d see marks on people we’d never suspect.

What’s more, we are not just hurting ourselves. Among the victims of the porn industry are the very participants on the screen. If you knew their stories, you’d be anything but sexually aroused. You’d hear of women feeling financially trapped, forced to pretend they enjoy being used. Worse yet, you’d hear heinous accounts of sex trafficking and modern-day slavery. It’s not what we want to hear, but through our consumption of internet porn, we are contributing to an industry that abuses women, children, and even men. Yes, we are fueling the demand for sex slaves–for the brutal bondage and exploitation of those we claim to love.

How Exactly Is It Affecting Us?

Let’s get more specific about how porn makes our lives, our relationships, and the world worse, not better. It may seduce us with the promise of pleasure, but it quickly becomes a cruel, oppressive taskmaster. Below are a few of the ways that porn negatively affects individuals, relationships, and the world.

Inability to See God

In Matthew 5:8, Jesus says, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” If you are watching porn, you are actively undermining the purity of your heart. As a result, your vision of God will become dim. This is the worst of all possible consequences of porn use.

Erosion of Marital Satisfaction

The rate of divorce increases substantially after a spouse starts watching porn [7]. If you seek to escape the difficulties of loving a real person, you will also succeed in forfeiting the joys of that relationship. Only when you commit to loving one person, complete with their imperfections, will you know the satisfaction of marriage.

Inability to Enjoy Sex

Sexual dysfunction has risen in tandem with internet porn use, even in young populations. Researchers have even coined the phrase pornography-induced erectile dysfunction (PIED), because studies have shown that repeated exposure to porn causes sexual dysfunction. [8] Thankfully, this condition can be reversed with abstinence from porn.

Inability to Quit

Porn is enticing, ensnaring, and addicting. There is no “safe” amount of porn use that shields you from the risk of addiction. Brain research shows that porn overstimulates the brain’s reward circuitry, releasing a flood of dopamine, the neurotransmitter related to pleasure and motivation. Once the pleasure subsides, withdrawal sets in, and later, craving. With continued use, you become desensitized to normal levels of pleasure, meaning you need overstimulation like porn to feel normal. Prolonged use eventually weakens connections between the prefrontal cortex and other parts of the brain, impairing self-regulation and decision-making [9, 10].

Depression

Studies show that porn negatively influences psychological well-being in terms of depressive symptoms, self-esteem, loneliness, and overall life satisfaction. [11] Men who watch porn have also been found to be lonelier, more insecure, and more dissatisfied with their physical appearance, and these effects increase with more frequent use [4].

Support of Sexual Abuse

Many top online porn platforms have been charged for distributing videos of rape. Keep in mind the women in these videos were threatened into smiling pretending they enjoyed it, so an unknowing viewer wouldn’t know it. Even in “consensual” pornography, there is no way to know if the participants are being coerced or financially entrapped. The truth is, you can’t know for certain whether virtually any online pornography is consensual, and even if it is, your viewership is supporting platforms guilty of abuse.

To Win the War, How Should We Begin?

Winston Churchill did not lead the Western world to defeat the Axis Powers by simply devising a strategy. No, as a master of the English language, he rallied the nations of the Allied forces to embrace a fully committed mindset and strong moral character. Wars are not won by strategy alone, so neither will you defeat porn by using the best “tips and tricks.” Your only hope for healing is to become, by God’s grace, the type of person who embodies the following attributes:

Honesty: Admit the powerful, evil, and destructive nature of the enemy, and recognize that the stakes are high.
Courage: Resolve to pursue victory at all costs.
Serenity: Calmly and willingly accept that the road to victory may be terrifying, long, and hard.
Wisdom: Recognize the need for a thoughtful, multidimensional plan.
Hope: Expect to succeed.
Interdependence: Harness the united strength of mutual support, and boldly seek the aid of others.
Dependence on God: Use the strength only God can give.

If you are ready to approach the war against porn with honesty, courage, serenity, wisdom, hope, interdependence, and dependence on God, you’ll be successful.

Your Multidimensional Strategy: 12 Essential Elements for Healing

Below are 12 essential elements for winning the fight against porn in your personal life. Much more could be said about these elements, but the goal here is to get you acquainted with them at a basic level. Lastly, remember that these elements are not “steps.” You don’t have to do them in order, and there are many you will never complete (however, you should address steps 1-3 before 9-14).

Grow in intimacy with God: As author Scott Hubbard writes, “Holiness begins in intimacy with Jesus [12],” which we cultivate through individual and corporate spiritual disciplines, such as prayer, meditation, scripture reading, worship, and service to others.

Restrict Access: Strong firewalls protect your sobriety in moments of temptation, and sobriety creates the conditions for the body, mind, and soul to heal.

Live in Authentic Community: Cultivate friendships, involve yourself in a healthy church, attend a support group, and submit yourself to strong, loving accountability relationships.

Embrace Consequences: Become familiar with the inevitable negative consequences of porn use on your spiritual, mental, emotional, physical, and financial health, as well as your relationships and society. Additionally, consider adding self-imposed consequences for slip-ups. This could include turning your computer or wifi router over to an accountability partner for a few days.

Discover Your “Why”: Create a mission statement, and reflect on what you want that porn prevents you from having.

Break Mental Strongholds: Reflect on the lies that make you think porn is worthwhile, and then take the time to refute those thoughts thoroughly.

Manage Triggers: Decrease temptation by avoiding triggers when possible, but have a contingency plan for when triggers and temptations inevitably come.

Adopt Healthy Replacement Habits: Don’t try to live without pleasure or hop to another addiction. Seek pleasurable activities that involve social connection, physical activity, connection with your values, pursuit of a worthwhile goal, or proper rest.

Learn to Process Negative Emotions: Instead of avoiding negative emotions, learn to face them, identify them, communicate them, and respond thoughtfully.

Address Inner Wounds and Negative Formative Influences: Unresolved issues may lead to distorted beliefs and painful emotions, potentially triggering temptation if left unchecked.

Help Others Heal: Realize that your healing is not just about you, and reinforce your growth by helping others on the journey to sexual healing and freedom.

Fight the Industry: Fortify your motivation by expanding your vision and allowing God to break your heart and use you in the fight against the porn industry and sex trafficking.

A Parting Exhortation and a Word of Gospel Hope

So, how do you wage war against a monstrous tyranny? Not casually, half-heartedly, or without a plan. Not by leaving any significant tactical advantages on the table–at least not if you want to win the war as quickly, easily, and decisively as possible. No, if you’re going to defeat the monstrous tyranny of porn in your life, you will wage war by any means necessary–“by sea, land and air, with all [your] might and with all the strength that God can give…”

But take heart. If you have trusted in Christ, your Savior is with you. His name is Immanuel, which means “God with us.” He never leaves you in your sin, and he never leaves you in your battle against sin. Porn may be a cruel taskmaster, but Christ has ransomed you from your captivity. Because of the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus, we are no longer slaves to death or sin. The only chains we wear are the kinds we put on ourselves, and they aren’t locked.

Your sin may seek to define you, but God has given you a new identity. If you think that a porn addict is just who you are, you’re wrong. You are a child of God who is being transformed into the image of his Son. All that’s left is for you to walk in it, and you’ve been given grace for that, too.

References

Jon Hunt enjoys working with teens, adults, and couples on issues including ADHD, anger, anxiety, panic attacks, and phobias, depression and suicidality, grief and trauma, insomnia, marital and premarital needs, pornography and behavioral addictions, and substance addictions. Jon uses insights from evidence-based therapeutic approaches but always stays grounded in the truth of God’s word.

jon@restorationcounselingatl.com, ext. 123

MAILING ADDRESS FOR ALL LOCATIONS is 102 Macy Drive, Roswell, GA 30076