“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.” John 15:12
Most of us are familiar with Jesus’ commandment to love one another. Often, we strive to be a loving friend, spouse, parent, child, or sibling. We even strive to show love to those we just met. The second commandment that Jesus gives us in the New Testament is to “love your neighbors as yourself.” But Jesus doesn’t elaborate on how we should love ourselves. Have you ever thought about what it means to “love yourself well?” Consider taking a few moments to ask yourself the following questions and evaluate how well you love yourself.
How do you see yourself?
Loving yourself well can start with aligning your view of yourself with how God sees you. When you see yourself the way God sees you, transformation happens. You can walk boldly in your identity in Christ. Your perspective on yourself, others around you, your circumstances, and the world we live in changes.
Here is what God says about you:
- I am fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14)
- I am a masterpiece. (Ephesians 2:10)
- I am more precious than jewels. (Proverbs 31:10)
- I am the son/daughter of Christ Jesus through faith. (Galatians 3:26)
- I am beautiful. (Song of Solomon 4:7)
- I am loved. (Isaiah 43:4)
- I am never alone. (Zephaniah 3:17)
- I am free. (Galatians 5:1)
- I am made new. (2 Corinthians 5:17)
- I am God’s temple and His spirit lives in me. (I Corinthians 6:19)
- I am chosen. (I Thessalonians 1:4)
- I am bought by the blood of Christ. (Ephesians 2:13)
- I am holy. (Ephesians 4:24)
How do you speak to yourself?
“Have you asked yourself, “would I speak to my friends, the way that I am speaking to myself?” Are your friends worthy of more love than you are? Of course, they aren’t! Based on our identity in Christ, we are loved, we are chosen, and we are bought with the blood of Christ. So, therefore, shouldn’t we be cognizant of how we speak to ourselves? Self-talk can be positive or negative. Loving yourself well means taking time to reframe that negative self-talk into positive affirmations. A simple thought of, “I should have done better” can be transformed into “I am proud of my efforts.”
How do you take care of yourself?
We have shared a lot of great tips lately about self-care. But let’s explore the next level of self-care. I am sure you are familiar with the old analogy of evaluating if your cup is half full or half empty. In this season, many of us are giving, giving, and giving of ourselves, but are we taking the necessary time to replenish ourselves? Aside from self-care, what are you doing to fill yourself up? Taking care of yourself may look different in this season but it may be more necessary than before.
Here are some suggestions on how to take care of yourself:
- If you have a busy schedule with little ones at home or assisting with virtual schooling, try setting your alarm for 10-15 minutes before your children wake up. Enjoy some quiet moments with God or prioritizing your to-do list for the day to set yourself up for success.
- If you find your mind racing with ideas, try journaling your thoughts and emotions to help empty your mind.
- In a season where you may be giving more of yourself to help those around you (elderly parents, school-age children at home, or little ones), take a few quiet moments for yourself to evaluate what are your needs. Consider how you may feel differently if you give yourself 15 minutes a day to do something that you enjoy.
- Look for room in your busy schedule to carve out 20-30 minutes for a walk outside or a quick workout to help release stress and increase your endorphins.
- If you feel overwhelmed with a lot of responsibilities in this season, try brainstorming with your support system to see where you may be able to find more balance. Be creative with how others can help you. Does your spouse enjoy folding the laundry while you don’t mind putting it away? Can your little ones help you clean up dishes and empty the dishwasher? Can everyone in the family spend 10 minutes before bed to clean up the clutter around the house?
Give yourself permission!
I will be honest; this is a tough one for me. As a busy mom, I personally struggle with giving myself permission. Recently, I was going through a journal that came with my exercise routine when I was stopped in my tracks. This is the page that caused my pause . . .
Immediately, I took a picture of this page to remember these words. Like you, I often need reminders to give myself what I need at the moment. When life gets out of balance and you find yourself giving to everyone else and struggling to keep your head above the water; take some time for you to evaluate what are your needs. Give yourself permission to prioritize yourself to have your needs met too.
What do you need to give to yourself today?
- Forgiveness
- Tenderness, kindness
- Courage
- Compassion
- Positive affirmations
- Self-love
- Encouragement to do something hard
Remember, there is only one you in this world.
You only get one chance at this life. Sometimes you have to be your own advocate for your needs. And sometimes you have to give something to yourself. How you see yourself, how you talk to yourself, and how you take care of yourself influences and shapes all the other relationships that you have in life. I give you permission to love yourself well. My prayer is that as you strive to love others well, as Jesus commanded us to, that you will also strive to love yourself well.
Written by Heidi Sawyer
heidi@restorationcounselingatl.com, ext 116
Heidi works with adolescents, ages 14 and up, and individuals. She assists with college and career exploration and planning, anxiety, depression, relationship challenges, spiritual issues, grief, life transitions, goal setting, and self-confidence challenges.