Also known as setting realistic expectations for yourself and knowing when to ask for help.
Late one summer morning this past year, my husband and I packed up the remainder of our possessions in our little Uhaul trailer and pulled out of my in-law’s driveway at 5 am, sleeping babies in the backseat. We were about to set off on a moving adventure that we’d never expected or planned even a year earlier. The twelve-and-a-half-hour drive in front of us provided just enough time to process what we were leaving and where we were going, but not enough time to overthink. We’d sold our house nine months earlier—a long period of gestation for the labor that we were in, full of expectation from God and also a lot of questions. How will we function without living close to our families? Will we love this city as much as we loved Monroe? How will we survive a real winter? Will we find childcare?
Facing the Future
Moving is one of the top five most stressful events a person or family will experience in their lifetime. We realize how many earthly possessions we have acquired and feel overwhelmed by the weight of each one as we stuff it into a box. We say goodbyes—to a house we loved, to a season of life, to friends and family, and certain ways of living. So let’s set the record straight—moving is a process of grieving and God walks with us through each step if we let Him. Stopping to acknowledge our limits, set realistic goals, and take time to care for ourselves and our emotions is all an important part of the process. Not just putting the labels on boxes, hiring movers, packing a POD, and finding a new place to live.
Easing the Stress of Moving
Let’s break it down into some attainable questions and goals that focus on caring for our souls during the process:
- What is a timeline that I can make that allows for downtime?
- Where are areas that I can ask for help (even if I know I can do it myself)?
- What is something meaningful that I can hold onto to process the previous season coming to an end?
- If I’m moving cities, what are some ways or places where I can find community quickly?
- What room is the most important to set up first and help me to establish a feeling of home, peace, and belonging in my new space?
Settling Down Again
Five months later, we’ve settled in, unpacked the boxes, and started to make our house a home. A lot of our questions have been answered and more have come up. We often look at photos of our old house and recall the love that we put into bringing it back to life. We think of our walks to the local coffee shop, and how we miss being close to our families. But, we’ve also loved forming new rhythms and friendships. We’ve enjoyed taking trips to the children’s museum, playing in the snow, and talking to our families daily. It’s not easy, there is suffering, but through the process, there is even more grace, gentleness, and a push to grow more into the likeness of Christ.
Written by: Coleen Dixon LMFT
Available for Online Counseling
coleen@restorationcounselingatl.com
Coleen is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in the state of Georgia. She is passionate about helping individuals, couples and families move past trauma and relational injuries, and toward a wholehearted connection with themself, others, and God. Coleen has been trained in EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) since March 2018.