Retirement is a major life transition. Leaving your career means leaving behind daily structure and a familiar sense of identity. It is normal to feel loss, boredom, or anxiety during retirement. Financial stress and medical issues can add to these feelings. Understanding the phases of retirement can help you see that you are not alone.
The Phases of Retirement
The “Pre-retirement” phase is when you prepare mentally and financially for the future. You envision what retirement will look like and develop an exit plan from your job. The “Honeymoon” phase of retirement feels like the beginning of a long vacation. You can sleep in, relax, and enjoy your free time. Once the novelty wears off, you enter the “Disenchantment” phase. You might feel disappointed or ask, “Is this all?” Feeling this way is completely normal. It means you are ready for the next phase.
During “Reorientation,” you are actively figuring out what you want this chapter to look like. You try different things to find what is meaningful to you. Finally, you reach “Stability,” where you settle into a fulfilling and realistic routine. So, how do you get to “Stability”?
Strategies to get to Stability in Retirement
Build Your Structure
One strategy to get to Stability is to create a new routine. Treat the beginning of retirement like a new job. Make a loose schedule with a set wake-up time, exercise, and mealtimes. Plan when and with whom you will eat lunch. Meet your walking group, card-playing friends, or Bible study group once a week. Visit your children or grandchildren on the weekends. A routine keeps your days from blurring together.
Focus on Your Physical Health
The second strategy for Stability is to prioritize your physical health. Regular exercise, balanced nutrition, and adequate sleep have a strong positive effect on mental health. Maintaining and even increasing your mobility can result in better life satisfaction.
Strength training increases bone mineral density and prevents age-related bone loss. As a result, strength training reduces the risk of fractures. Not only that, but regular exercise helps manage anxiety and depression symptoms. Consult a physician before starting a new exercise routine, especially if you have specific health concerns or mobility issues.
Find a New Purpose
The third strategy for Stability is finding a new purpose. People with a sense of purpose are healthier, live longer, and maintain better cognitive function than those who don’t. People involved in a cause have more emotional resilience, mental stimulation, and a greater sense of self-worth.
If you are a Christian, you ultimately find your value and identity in being God’s beloved child. As we grow in faith, we understand that his love and grace continue to sanctify us throughout our lives. Still, it is easy to lose your sense of self-worth without a paycheck, job title, or the house you raised your children in. God has a plan for every stage of your life, and “he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:6). God is not through with you!
A practical step to take to live out this purpose is to volunteer your time and expertise in a way that aligns with your values. You can volunteer at your church or nonprofit in your community. If you love children, you can volunteer in a school or children’s sports activities. Giving back lowers rates of depression and anxiety, and it increases life satisfaction in retirement.
Invest in Relationships
The fourth strategy for reaching the Stability phase is to invest in relationships. The workplace gave you co-workers to socialize with. You lose this social network in retirement, so you need to be more proactive.
Our brains were wired for connection. When we engage in positive social interactions, our brains release oxytocin (the bonding hormone) and serotonin (a neurotransmitter that affects mood, sleep, and appetite). Cortisol, the body’s stress hormone, is reduced. Regular social interactions have been shown to delay and reduce the risk of Alzheimer’s and dementia.
Take the initiative and start a walking group or invite a new friend over for coffee. Start a book club, small-group Bible study, or cooking club. These groups can meet over video call if some in your group have difficulty leaving their home. Join the local senior center. Make it a point to have at least one meaningful conversation or social interaction every day to prevent isolation.
One of my favorite ways to give back and grow friendships at the same time is to befriend a younger person. Listen to the struggles they are facing while offering support. These friendships are often mutually beneficial, and you may be surprised how blessed you are by the friendship.
Recognizing When to Seek Support
Even with the best strategies, sometimes we need extra support. You spent decades in your career. It will take time to adjust to retirement. Give yourself grace during this transition. Do not go through it alone.
If you are experiencing persistent sadness, a lingering sense of emptiness, or a loss of interest in things you used to enjoy, it is time to talk to a counselor. Seeking help is a proactive, healthy step to take at any age. If you would like to talk further about this, I would love to connect. Feel free to email me anytime.
References
- Aging Successfully and Healthily by Matha P. Greene
- The Stages of Retirement by Robert Atchley (1975)
- The Effect of Resistance Training on Bone Mineral Density in Older Adults: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis (NIH)
- Prevalence of Depression in Retirees: A Meta-Analysis (NIH)
Written by: Dorothy Kuo
Dorothy (Roswell) offers individual counseling for those aged 16 and up. She helps clients navigate challenges such as depression, anxiety, grief, life transitions (including retirement adjustment), family issues, health concerns, and substance abuse. Dorothy earned her degree from Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary in 2012. She uses an integrated therapeutic approach that combines Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and her theological background. Dorothy has been married for over 15 years and is a “tween” mom.
dorothy@restorationcounselingatl.com