Navigating Personal Challenges During the Holidays
For many, the holiday season is a magnificent time of wonder and reflection. For others, surviving the holidays can be challenging, particularly for those individuals who are grieving or feel alone. Shifting your focus can help you navigate these situations with grace and compassion. Here are some helpful strategies!
Prioritize Self-Care
It is essential to prioritize your well-being and maintain a positive attitude despite the busyness of the holidays. Whatever you focus on will retain your attention. Take time to shift your focus on the true meaning of Christmas: the birth of Jesus Christ, His love, grace, and presence in our lives.
When you feel your best, you are better equipped to handle stress. Getting enough rest, eating well, staying physically active, connecting with God, and finding moments of relaxation are a few suggestions. Self-care should not be confused with being selfish. Instead, think of it as being on an airplane. If the cabin pressure changes, you put your mask on first so that you remain alive or might assist someone else.
Take the time to tune into your emotions. Pause and reflect on how you feel at different times throughout the day. Avoid stuffing, judging, or displaying false emotions. Give yourself permission to feel or not feel cheerful during the holidays.
Exercise Self Compassion when Grieving
Understand that your feelings are valid and normal reactions to your experiences. Treat yourself kindly and offer the same understanding you would to a friend who is experiencing similar emotions. Remind yourself that your struggles can connect you to others.
If you are experiencing grief, it’s crucial to treat yourself with self-compassion. Remember that it’s okay to have moments of sadness, grief, or vulnerability. These feelings are a natural part of the human experience. Instead of being self-critical, offer yourself the same love and compassion God extends toward you.
Grief may not only center around death but also a loss. You might not even recognize that you have experienced the loss of a dream, hope, or longing until you are discussing it with someone.
Do not hesitate to reach out for support. Share your struggles with trusted friends, family members, or fellow church members. Sharing your burdens with others can provide emotional relief and strengthen your sense of belonging.
Singleness
For those hosting single people, holidays can sometimes accentuate feelings of loneliness or being left out. You might encourage single friends and family members to gather with other friends or participate in group activities. Be mindful of their need for companionship and inclusion. If you are single, you might struggle with loneliness during the holidays.
Have you been persistently single, relocated for a job or school, or had a relationship that recently ended? An important consideration is how you think about yourself.
Negative core beliefs often drive our behavior. These include feeling unworthy, not good enough, or like you do not measure up. These beliefs are lies. Yet, those beliefs can be powerful enough to prevent you from enjoying time with those who care about you. The lies must be replaced with the truth that you are worthy of love and friendship.
God designed you for authentic connection in a community. In Genesis 2:18, from the beginning, God said it is not good for a human being to lack companionship. I am not saying everyone needs to be involved in a romantic relationship. Still, God designed us for meaningful and eternal connection, and you are valuable to Him.
I was single for a very long time before I got married. It was a difficult journey at times. Overall, singleness was an enjoyable time where I was a guest at many tables for the holidays. I served others, moved all over the country, had complete autonomy, and created family-like relationships everywhere I lived.
Gratitude and Service
The holiday season is an excellent time to focus on gratitude. Take a moment each day to reflect on what you are thankful for. Even if you struggle financially, prioritizing loving relationships and exercising gratitude has greater benefit than cost. It is okay to ask for and accept help when it is offered by your community, as this might be the way others can exercise their gifts of hospitality and service.
Engaging in acts of kindness and generosity can also help shift your focus away from personal struggles and toward helping others. Consider volunteering at a local shelter, participating in charity initiatives, or donating to causes that align with your values. Serving with others in your faith community may help enhance a sense of belonging.
Conclusion
Faith and the community can be a source of strength and comfort to help you navigate challenges during the holidays. Embrace the opportunity to draw closer to God, seek support from your faith community, and practice self-compassion as you navigate your struggles. Shifting your focus toward positive experiences can help you counterbalance stressors and overcome the lies you may believe about yourself. Remember that the holiday season can be a time of spiritual renewal and growth, even in the face of personal challenges.
Written by James E. Francis, Jr., EdD, APC
james@restorationcounselingatl.com, ext 118
James has a heart for helping males struggling with anxiety, anger, depression, life transitions, resilience, and spiritual maturity. He also sees clients dealing with grief, infidelity, and pornography addiction. He has experience in marriage counseling and premarital counseling. James keeps it real, believes in second chances, and loves to meet others where they are.