Although adolescents may be at less risk of contracting COVID-19 than other age groups, the global pandemic has disrupted their lives in other ways:
- From frequent changes to virtual schooling to wondering which friends in their friends’ group would be at school each day
- From additional stressors at home with family stress to isolation from their friends and regular routines
This pandemic has taken a toll on the mental health of teenagers across the world. If you have an anxious teen at home, rest assured that you are not alone in this parenting journey!
Here are a few tips:
Explore the Root of their Stress and Anxiety
- What is not helpful: Telling someone, “don’t worry,” is not beneficial to the worried person.
- What is helpful: Ask questions to explore what is causing them to feel anxious. Once you find the root, ask, “What do you think will happen?” and actively listen to their responses.
- Tips:
- Look for signs of anxiety and evaluate physical symptoms that may show their concern is too much.
- Help your teen explore options to lessen their worries or fears.
- If your teen is struggling with low self-esteem and comparison, consider limiting social media or other influences that may cause them to compare themselves to others.
Review S.E.E. Habits
- Evaluate your teen’s S.E.E.- sleeping, eating, and exercise habits. It is essential to maintain healthy sleeping habits, eating habits, and regular movement to help decrease anxiety. If your teen isn’t receiving enough sleep, it can heighten their anxiety. If your teen’s eating habits don’t include healthy food choices, it can also exacerbate their anxiety. Research proves that just 20 minutes of increased heart rate regularly can release the healthy hormones that our body needs to help us feel better. Work with your teen to make small changes to their sleeping, eating, and exercise habits if there is room for improvement.
Examine Your Role in Their Anxiety
- What is not helpful: Putting your anxiety on your teenager is not.
- What is helpful: Process your anxiety on your own. Be aware of your fears or worries and how they may be impacting family members around you.
- Tips:
- Become self-aware of your possible worries or fears. Be mindful not to place your anxiety on your child/teen.
- Be cautious of the tone and words you use around them as they may be picking up that people around them are anxious, so they should become anxious too.
- Your role in parenting shifts as your child becomes a teenager. Rather than focusing on training, your primary role is now to coach and provide support. Teenagers need room to make mistakes and learn about consequences on their own. Evaluate how much independence you are giving them to learn from their own mistakes versus being overly involved in their day-to-day responsibilities.
- If you have been waiting for a good reason to seek help for your anxious behavior, this may be it.
- Schedule an appointment with a Restoration Counseling of Atlanta therapist if your teen is showing signs of shutting down or is overwhelmed by the stress and anxiety in their life.
Provide a Safe Space for Them to Open Up About Their Anxiety
- What is not helpful: Avoiding or pushing it under the rug like it is not a big deal.
- What is helpful: Recognize what they are feeling. Encourage them to recognize and name their feelings by validating their feelings.
- Tips:
- Provide a listening ear and ask open-ended questions to encourage open dialogue.
- Avoid judgments and statements like “get over it” or “stop worrying.” Instead, provide support and encouragement by saying, “you’re not alone; sometimes I get nervous too,” or “it’s normal to feel some anxiety about taking a big test.”
- Validate their feelings by saying, “I can see that you’re really nervous about this AP exam.”
- Normalizing some level of anxiety will reassure the teen that they are not alone in what they are feeling.
Ask Your Teen – Does it Help it or Hurt it?
- Encourage your teen to regularly ask themselves what helps their anxiety and what hurts their anxiety. This will allow them to self-identify ways to manage their stress and anxiety (help it) and understand what triggers their stress and anxiety (hurt it). You can’t change what you don’t know. Identifying the triggers of their anxiety is necessary to make changes.
Help Them Lessen Their Load
- What is not helpful: If you see that your teen feels overwhelmed, and you encourage them to push through it or ignore that they are overwhelmed. Adding one more AP course or travel sports to their already full schedule may not be the best option.
- What is helpful: Help them find the WHY behind the activities and responsibilities on their schedule. Encourage ways for them to simplify their life and take time to rest.
- Tips:
- Make a list of all the things your teen is balancing. Spend time with your teen and ask them to evaluate what is a priority to them. Ask them questions to help them process why they are involved in all the things on their plate. Evaluate what activities or responsibilities are causing them anxiety. Permit them to remove things that are not a priority.
- Encourage technology breaks. Although this may be met with resistance at first, your teen needs to take breaks from social media and the constant use of technology. Implement “disconnect” days as a family where everyone disconnects from their phones and social media to spend quality time together.
- Let your teen rest and refuel this summer by simplifying their schedule and slowing down. Staying busy can be a distraction to providing our bodies the rest that it needs.
Written by Heidi Sawyer, MS, LPC
heidi@restorationcounselingatl.com, ext 116
Heidi works with adolescents, ages 14 and up, and individuals. She assists with college and career exploration and planning, anxiety, depression, relationship challenges, spiritual issues, grief, life transitions, goal setting, and self-confidence challenges.