As someone who has experienced Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and now as a therapist who has worked with anxiety disorders for years, I’m pretty familiar with what anxiety looks like and sounds like, and what ramps anxiety up and keeps it going. I’ve spent so much time working with anxiety (my own and others) that sometimes I forget what it’s like to see anxiety through fresh eyes (or tortured eyes if you’re the one experiencing anxiety).
Every time I sit with a new client who is experiencing anxiety, I am reminded about how many misconceptions there are about anxiety. Here are just a few that I’ve noticed in my years working with anxiety (including some misconceptions that I had myself):
- Anxiety is always bad
- Anxiety is the same as fear
- Anxiety is all in your head
- Avoiding what makes me anxious will help me
Let me take you into my therapy room for a moment and show you the pep talks I give to my clients when these misconceptions show up.
Anxiety is Always Bad
I know that anxiety feels super uncomfortable. It’s not fun to feel at all. I don’t like the feeling of it either! But some anxiety is good. It helps us know when something matters to us and gives us the boost and energy to deal with the situation that is causing us anxiety. Anxiety is “bad” when it becomes chronic and persistent, affecting your daily functioning for a long time.
Anxiety is the Same As Fear
For years, I would interchange the words “anxiety” and “fear”. I would use them to describe the same feeling, but they are not. Fear happens when there is an imminent danger or a perceived imminent danger. Anxiety happens when you imagine a difficult or scary scenario that could happen in the future. You’ll know you’re experiencing anxiety when you make up scenarios about the future that have a small chance of actually happening.
Anxiety is All In Your Head
People have often said to me when I’m feeling anxious “It’s all just in your mind.” And to a certain degree that’s true because the situations I’m imagining happening are playing out in my mind. But anyone that has experienced chronic anxiety knows that you actually feel it in your body first. One moment you’re fine and the next moment your heart is racing and you’re sweating and your stomach feels like it just dropped. So in my therapy room, we don’t just work with the stories in your mind, we work with the sensations in your body.
Avoiding What Makes Me Anxious Will Help Me
Do you find that when you’re anxious, you do whatever it takes to make the anxiety go away? Typically you are avoiding something in this process. Maybe you are not going to a friend’s birthday party because you are afraid you’ll get sick. You avoid the doctor so you don’t have to get your blood drawn. You constantly reassure yourself, trying to force the anxiety out, avoiding something so you can stop the uncomfortable feeling of anxiety. In my therapy room, we learn how to embrace anxiety which, as it turns out, gives the anxiety less power and voice.
Of all of these, my favorite anxiety myth to dispel is one that I haven’t mentioned. Many people who experience chronic and clinical anxiety think that it is something they just have to go through. They think it is just how they are. So I love to tell my clients who experience anxiety that it doesn’t have to be this way! They can get tools, techniques and mindset shifts that will help them decrease anxiety and send it to the backseat of the car rather than being in the driver’s seat. If you experience chronic anxiety, know that there is hope for you!
Written by Ashley Skinner, MA, APC
Woodstock Location
ashley@restorationcounselingatl.com ext 119
Ashley focuses on offering you space, time, and attention to tell your story. She provides holistic care, taking time to explore the mind, body, and soul to help you create a healthier and more meaningful life. Ashley works with anxiety, perfectionism, self-esteem issues, trauma, and grief. While you will have space and time in the therapy room, Ashley is also known for providing easy and practical homework that can fit into your everyday life so that you can practice healthy growth in your everyday life.