Spiritual bypass is a way of using spiritual practices and beliefs to avoid dealing with unresolved psychological issues. We often forget that God made us human. Being human means that we struggle with disappointments, hurts, and losses. Struggling and growing involves weeping, mourning, accepting, and persevering. When we over-spiritualize our struggles, we sabotage our growth progress because we skip over or miss critical lessons. God wants to use these lessons to help us see our need of him and to learn to trust him.
How does spiritual bypass affect our lives?
Spiritual bypass occurs when a person consciously or unconsciously avoids acknowledging a real problem by overemphasizing the spiritual dimensions of life. The result of this avoidance and “bypass” of real issues is that the problems are not resolved. The person and the connected relationships continue to suffer as the problem often worsens.
How to Recognize Spiritual Bypass
There are symptoms of spiritual bypass that may help detect whether this is happening in each case.
Symptoms of Spiritual Bypass (may include, but not limited to):
- Emotional dissociation: difficulty knowing and expressing one’s emotions
- Anger phobia: fear of becoming angry
- Intellectual dissociation: using facts and logic to avoid emotions
- Overemphasis on positive: unrealistic denial of a problem
- Relationship problems: with an added blame placed on spiritual deficiencies in others
- Narcissism or grandiosity in the spiritual domain: expression of spiritual superiority
- Blind following: lack of reasonable, holistic concern in decision making
- Blind compassion: exaggerated tolerance or overly permissive behavior
- Fear of confrontation: inappropriately conciliatory, thereby enabling wrongdoing
- Avoidance of responsibility: wishfully thinking forces in the spiritual realm will do for them
- Magical thinking: a mixture of superstition and wishful thinking that results in avoidance of reasonable personal responsibility
- Disconnection from the body: loss of grounding in one’s own body and a disdain for it
(Picciotto & Fox, pp. 75-76)
Spiritual bypass of our problems can result in distress and the continuation of damage to ourselves and our loved ones. The sad part of spiritual bypass is that the ones caught up in it falsely believe they are doing good. For instance, the devout and committed Christian can convince oneself and others that their type of spiritual bypass is the best way—“God’s way.”
How can we know when spiritual emphasis has become part of the problem? Isn’t reliance on spiritual help supposed to make it easier to face problems? Isn’t spiritual maturity supposed to help us as we face life’s problems?
Can our spirituality be used against us?
Recent literature shows a positive correlation between spirituality and overall health (Picciotto & Fox, p. 66). However, it is possible for incomplete spiritual understanding to cause a misuse of spiritual principles. Misusing spiritual principles can have harmful consequences.
For instance, many of us learned that if our spiritual lives are in order, our problems will disappear or be quickly solved. This belief is a harmful simplification and misunderstanding of the Gospel message. The Bible says that in this life, we will have trouble and “trials of various kinds” (James 1:2). A person can be spiritually mature yet continue to suffer in many ways. Our priority on spiritual things does not immediately remove our suffering. To apply spiritual principles appropriately, we must carefully evaluate our assumptions and seek an understanding of the whole picture. An accurate, Biblical understanding of our created humanity can help us properly face our trials without misusing spiritual principles.
Building A Healthy Biblical Worldview of Our Humanity
Firstly, let us recall that God created us as complex beings. Our physical bodies house our emotions, minds, and spiritual natures. When we face trials in this life, it is helpful to be continually aware of this complexity. Multiple factors often cause our difficulties and will likely be solved by multiple solutions.
There is much Biblical evidence for this fact. Even our Lord, Jesus, had a body that was tired, hungry, cold, emotionally worn, and distressed (remember the Garden of Gethsemane). He needed food, rest, clothing, and the encouragement of friends. Jesus felt sadness and anger; he was both compassionate and confrontational (remember Lazarus and the money changers in the Temple). He both comforted and confronted others.
Embracing the Complexity of Our Human Nature
This complexity is no less true for us. In fact, our neediness is even greater in all areas because we are born into sin. Jesus knew no sin, but we do. In fact, we know it well, “for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23). We face a flawed and sinful world with our own flawed, sinful nature. We are sinned against, and we ourselves also sin. There are damages we sustain and damages we inflict.
We must remain open to acknowledging our struggles in this life and welcome the complexity. Whether the struggles are relational, emotional, physical, mental, or spiritual, we must allow God’s light of truth to shine on each one of them. Each struggle or problem needs particular attention – not glossing over.
The Freedom and Healing of Uncovered Pain
Spiritual bypass prevents the truth from shining on vulnerable and shameful areas of our lives. This may be a protective instinct; however, hiding these areas through spiritual bypass does nothing to heal them. Hiding our vulnerable scars and secrets only increases our misery and that of our loved ones. Bringing every area and domain of our lives into the open is the first step to being healed and free from its burden. As finite human beings, we can deceive ourselves when experiencing the complexity of the burdens in each domain. It is tempting to consolidate our troubles into one distinct, powerful cause. It is easier to blame problems on one source. If we could do this, we could more easily solve our problems. However, in our need for simplicity and quick fixes, we often inappropriately conceal the evidence that will lead us to actual solutions.
The “Cloud” of the Spiritual Realm
Because the spiritual world is more difficult to understand and hidden from our eyes, it is easier to place our problems there. We try to bypass the work of understanding the psychological and physical factors and send our problems to “the cloud” of the spiritual realm. Working on psychological factors, such as family patterns, past trauma, or mental disturbance, takes work and can feel uncomfortable. As creatures, we do not like to feel uncomfortable. When we do this work, we often feel worse before we feel better, as when we clean a wound so that it can heal. However, this is precisely why spiritual bypass is so dangerous. When we ignore psychological wounds, they are left to fester and infect the whole body, destroying us.
How to Avoid The Bypass Trap
Take heart; there is a way! Firstly, remember that God has made us stewards. He has given us the freedom of choice in how we care for our minds, bodies, and spirits. We are responsible for our choices and play a significant role in the health that results. We must oversee our domains with due attention and look at each honestly. As stewards, we must care very lovingly for each entrusted domain. This includes verbal acknowledgment, special attention, and treatment for our needy areas. Caring for ourselves honors God as we tend to the precious treasure he entrusted us. The precious treasure is us and those around us!
God’s Desire for Truth in the Inmost Parts
Secondly, God is our overseer. He has not left us to this task alone. God cares intimately for our bodies, minds, and spirits as a gentle husband to a wife. He will help you face any neediness you may desire to sweep under the rug. He is the God of truth and will give you strength to face others who may attempt to deny the truth around you. God will provide you with validation for the feelings you are afraid to own, and he can handle the anger you are afraid to face.
I hope it empowers you to know that God is unafraid of our needs. He is sufficient for them. Let us allow our needs to be appropriately known and helped so we may be whole and healthy to fulfill our calling of abundant life in Him.
Definition and list of symptoms taken from:
Picciotto, G., & Fox, J. (2018). Exploring Experts’ Perspectives on Spiritual Bypass: a Conventional Content Analysis. Pastoral Psychology, 67(1), 65-84. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11089-017-0796-7
nancy@restorationcounselingatl.com
678-534-3824, ext.130
Roswell, Woodstock, and Online
Nancy has a passion for working with individuals and families as they strive to face life’s challenges. She has been married for 27 years to a pastor and they have five children together. Nancy offers an objective, understanding, and non-judgmental atmosphere where individuals and families can work on healing and growing under the light of God’s truth. She received her training from Wheaton College in 1999 and has lived in Atlanta for 10 years.