Recovery: “Put off the old and put on the new”
Acting out is a common term in the sexual addiction world as someone walks in recovery. It simply means a person chooses to move toward and engage the use of some substance to cover, relieve, or escape the pain. They’re choosing to experience a neurological and emotional high, but without any real relief. We know there is no relief because we experience guilt, shame, and fear immediately following the action, which leads to a massive cover-up through denial, lies, and hiding. The final stinger with this type of acting out behavior is it rewards the biological and sinful side of man. This increases tolerance for the substance and leads to an increase in desire, behavior, and risk. The choice to use a substance is an act that isn’t effective in the long run and it will lead to more redemption being required in the future.
A New Way
I would like to propose a new type of acting out. Acting out implies something internal needs to be brought to the surface. What we know in the addiction world is that pain is the culprit and is what needs to be brought out. Pain can come in many forms, but it always needs to escape. In the sexual addiction world, it is often an emotional pain that is unidentified. This pain cannot stay hidden inside or alone in the darkness for long. We know this to be true because of what scripture says: “ If anyone councils a matter your bones waste away.” Therefore, we must ACT.
I am proposing that an addict still acts to get this pain out, without proceeding in the same old way. So, what are healthy acts?
ACTS:
PRAY out: cry, plea, ask, seek, wrestle, and sit with God. Tell Him about your pain and ask for wisdom and guidance
TALK out: “Bear one another’s burdens, confess your sins to one another.” God created us as a body to help and love one another. The old version of acting out left us alone in the dark. The new acting out brings us into the light of community.
WALK out: God has given us the command to FLEE or simply put, to move. When you move, you are going in a specific direction and your mind becomes more focused on where you are going and not on the old path behind you. This will also give you an opportunity to pray.
WRITE out: This medium allows you to focus your mind in a safe place and see your words, thoughts, and desires on paper. The person you lie to most is yourself. When we are in our own heads the scripture says: “A fool’s ways seem right in their own mind.” As Christians, we are not labeled as fools; we are blood-bought Saints. However, we can act and think as fools, which means we can convince ourselves of anything.
I want us all to find healthy ways to act out and redeem what has been lost.
by Roswell and Woodstock Locations,
troy@restorationcounselingatl.com, ext. 113
Troy specializes in three distinct areas: sexual addiction, anger, and adolescent issues. In these specialties, he works with adult males, adolescent males, and couples. He takes a holistic approach to help his clients by working closely with the parents, spouse, family members and friends to help his clients create a better foundation for success. In addition to these specialties, he also provides counseling for all issues relating to men and adolescent boys.