What does it mean to be emotionally healthy?
Emotional health is one of the most underlooked and misunderstood concepts in the economy of healthcare. While not perfect in any way, physical health is generally understood and taught very clearly. Balancing diet, calories, and nutrition is taught at almost every school across America. The food pyramid likely has a special resting spot in the mind when considering what to eat and how to eat in a healthy manner. But what about the relative equivalent psychological/emotional concepts like Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs (basically a type of food pyramid for personal growth) or Bloom’s Taxonomy (essentially a step-by-step guide to how we learn and grow in understanding)? These are not taught in schools across America and tend to be misunderstood when presented. And truthfully even these examples wouldn’t quite fit the bill for understanding emotional health simply because these both are structured as categories that grow, not something to accomplish off of a checklist every day. There seems to be little in terms of analog to emotional health and physical health.
Is emotional health important?
And therein lies the concern with emotional health. Over a lifespan, it’s a lot easier to capture and understand that type of personal growth. But what does it mean to live today as emotionally healthy? How do we know if we are getting the emotional vitamins and minerals that we need to live a healthy and productive life? Just as everyone’s diet should be somewhat different depending on needs addressed by their doctor, so too should fulfilling emotional needs be different from person to person to a degree. So while there is some variance, basic principles can be followed as a starting point.
How can I be an emotionally healthy person?
Here is a potential starting point for a daily guide to being an emotionally healthy person.
- Look in the emotional mirror. Emotionally healthy does not mean happy all the time or pretending to be happy all the time. Rather it is the habit of emotional honesty and naming what is really there. Are you feeling envious, upset, or bitter? Begin by naming your emotion for what it is – a process done by connecting emotional experiences to logical reasons, often environmental or situational in nature. Choosing to be emotionally honest with yourself is hard and for some it is the hardest part of the process. It can be an effective decision to talk to an emotionally wise friend or therapist about what you are feeling and why you are feeling it. The vantage points of others allow us to understand what we often cannot see.
- Being emotionally healthy involves taking intentional mental time to be present with your emotions. This has less to do with going to a special physical location or daily practice. Rather it is a mindset or intentionality about listening to your mindset throughout the day. This is the process of listening to the tiny voice in your mind and feeling connected to your identity. This is done most effectively by sitting in stillness, trying to find your pulse, being present with your heartbeat, and connecting the events of the day to this moment. The process can be as little as thirty seconds sometimes and sometimes over an hour if felt.
- Recognize any physical or somatic pains that you are experiencing that don’t seem to be connected to any previous physical problems. Are your shoulders tense? Is there excess pressure in your neck? Is your back unusually tight? Is there an odd feeling in your stomach or gut? These physical sensations often have a psychological or emotional origin point. If you are finding these types of pains ask yourself what emotions might be presenting themselves this way.
- Develop emotional exercises! The same way that a physical exercise plan can be life-changing so too can an emotional exercise plan be! But how does someone develop an emotional exercise program? Emotional exercises can effectively start with taking on a different perspective and looking out towards the situation. Often the best place to start with building an emotional exercise program can be to start with humanizing yourself and contextualizing your emotional experience. For example: If you find that you are mad at yourself for breaking a diet plan, take the opportunity to use the contextualizing and humanizing approach to better understand yourself. Don’t most people fall off the wagon multiple times? Isn’t this an expected and generally accepted part of the journey for most people? Isn’t a bad day (or week) of eating to be expected to be a valid part of the process? Do you have to carry the burden of exceptionalism every single time when it comes to this? Can’t this be seen instead as kindness or a gift to the self for choosing to be overall proactive in your pursuit of a healthier life – a kindness that every human being deserves simply for being? Walking through these emotional exercises can be significantly eye-opening as to how you have been treating yourself and how you can begin to treat yourself differently.
- Interact with emotional health as part of a lifestyle. The people that seem to do the best with fitness also seem to view physical wellness as a lifestyle. This means that they don’t simply hit the gym in the morning and call it a day. They will spend a bit of their downtime connecting to the world of physical fitness. This can be in the form of connecting to a fitness community via apps and message boards, listening to podcasts or videos from qualified experts, seeking advice from those that know more than they do, reading books on subjects related to health and well-being, and generally connecting to associated fields. Many people in the world of physical health also want to understand the world of nutrition or emotional health in order to integrate into a bigger picture. The more parts of your day that touch emotional health, the more you can expect to grow in living emotionally healthy. Ask yourself: To what or who can you listen to promote a better understanding of emotional health? How can you interact with emotional health in a community? What can you read that might challenge your current understanding and promote a better view of emotional health?
While living in an emotionally healthy way each day can vary to some degree from person to person, it’s important to remember that each day will be a little bit different. If the presented framework above is followed completely to the letter, it can be expected to develop diminishing returns. Also much like a successful physical health mindset, a personal trainer can be an invaluable resource. In this case, a personal training for mental health can be a licensed professional counselor. They can help set rhythms, patterns, and accountability for reaching your emotional health goals. Remember it takes time and a great amount of patience to begin to create a rich world of emotional health. Please make sure to add a dash of understanding and composure to any dish you plan to create in your journey towards emotional health.
Written by: Jared Pogue, LPC